Signs of Sexual Tension Between a Boss & an Employee

Office romances can be fun, but may also cause trouble.
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You see your boss everyday at work and spend long hours collaborating on projects with him, so it isn't surprising when you develop an attraction to him. Whether or not you're interested in pursuing a relationship with your boss, you're curious to know whether he's into you, too. If there's sexual tension between the two of you, you can recognize it by studying your boss's actions.

Special Treatment

If your co-workers are forced to attend mandatory meetings, but your boss lets you slip out early whenever you like, he may be showing you preferential treatment. This treatment can also include extra days off, more time to work on a project or giving you the coveted corner office. Special treatment usually means your boss has a thing for you. A word of warning, though. While this special treatment may seem wonderful to you, it might make your co-workers jealous.


When your boss drops by your desk three times in an hour just to say hello, it might be because he has feelings for you. Your boss may have felt the sexual tension between you and decided he'd try to be your friend first before making a move on you. If your boss chats with other employees as much as he does with you, though, he's probably just a friendly person who likes to socialize with all his subordinates.

Physical Signs

Most bosses don't make a habit of regularly touching their employees. But if your boss touches you as he brushes past, puts his hand on your shoulder when you're talking or stands a bit too close to you, you can bet there's some sexual tension between you. If your boss feels the attraction, he'll probably take any chance he has to get closer to you. He might also maintain eye contact a bit longer than normal or smile whenever he's in your presence. Other physical signs of interest include standing up straight with his chest out and shoulders back, parted lips, dilated pupils or raised eyebrows.

After-Work Activities

It's not abnormal for a boss to meet with employees in the office after regular working hours for work-related purposes. If your boss asks you (and you alone) to meet him in his office after you've clocked out, though, you can assume work probably isn't on his mind. If sexual tension exists between the two of you, your boss might invite you out for a meal or cup of coffee. Some bosses do this for all their employees occasionally, but if it becomes a habit, your boss likely has feelings for you.

Personal Emails and Calls

If you find an email from your boss every time you open your inbox, he's either bugging you to get your work done or trying to find a way to connect with you. If it's the latter, your boss may have recognized the sexual tension between you. Of course, the subject of the emails matters, too. Your boss might email or call to ask your opinion on something, for example, or to chat about something you love, such as your favorite sports team or the latest must-see romantic comedy. If the messages are personal, it's a good bet that his feelings for you aren't strictly platonic.

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